A Pirate's Life
Season 2, Episode 3 (16)
Master Chief and Arbiter as Pirates
Air date September 1, 2012
Written by Jon Graham
Directed by Jon Graham
Episode guide
Horsin' Around

A Pirate's Life is the third episode of the second season of Arby 'n' The Chief - Bytes.


Master Chief and the Arbiter discuss the benefits and problems surrounding online piracy.


Master Chief and the Arbiter are floating in Jon's water-filled bathtub on a boat Chief made with a cereal box, a used toilet paper roll and a stick holding a flag that, at first glance, seems to have the initial skull and bones insignia on it. However, the bones have been replaced with drawn penises.

As they talk, Arbiter criticizes Chief for downloading more porn from torrents with an ETA reaching a staggering 150 years for its completion without the compensation of its distributors. In reply, Chief justifies that it is okay to download them (as well as anything else) since everyone does it nowadays. When Arbiter states that it's illegal to download what he is downloading and that most torrents contain viruses and spyware, Chief confidently blames the government, believing that it's there fault for the existence of illegal downloading and that even if he is caught, it would be Jon who would get arrested since they're only toys.

Arbiter asks if Chief downloaded his torrent through a proxy, but Chief doesn't seem to know what that is. Finally, shortly thereafter, a police officer knocking on Jon's door, stating that he's there for a search warrant.


Episode How-TosEdit

  • HOW TO draw a skull and cross-boners
  • HOW TO bend over for a handy tip
  • HOW TO be a law abiding ****-sucker
  • HOW TO magnets
  • HOW TO not download through a proxy

Transcript Edit

Main article: A Pirate's Life/Transcript

Trivia Edit

  • Chief's phrase "lololol and a bottle of win" is a reference to a previous story episode, "Pirates".
  • During close-ups of Arbiter's dialogue, there is water dripping from his face, indicating that Jon may have accidentally gotten the Arbiter figure wet while filming the byte.

Watch the Episode Edit

"A Pirate's Life"

"A Pirate's Life"