← "Suspense!" "A Pirate's Life" "Horsin' Around" →


A paper pirate flag with the bones replaced with drawn penises is seen.

  • Chief: teh pirate's lief is teh lief foar meh / LOLOLOL and a bottel of win /I full all teh haterz mouths with pee /LOLOLOL and a bottel of win

Chief and Arbiter a shown to be in Jon's water filled bathtub on a pirate ship made from a cereal box and a stick for the flag.

  • Arbiter: Had to take the morning off just to check our e-mail.In regard to your allocation of bandwith outside of your torrents I should give you a little tip, if the download eta for a text article is three hundred and fifty years or more then there's a problem.
  • Chief: k arbitur teh rspektfill to do is 2 give u a tip in return / bend ovar / u'll love it / ask ur mom
  • Arbiter: Three hundred and forty nine and I could let you go but three hundred and fifty? Thats just silly.
  • Chief:"Its worth it bro / im downloading lots and lots of good shit / foar both of us so quit ur bitching
  • Arbiter: "Good shit" that the people who created and distributed it won't see a penny from you in exchange for.
  • Chief: fuck meh / heer we go, let me get mai loler skates if wer gonna went down this road agen / thers nothing wrong with downloading ass master, ud haz to be retarted not 2 does it / n e thing u cud wants and its rite fucking  their on intra tubes / fucking magnet links bro / ya bitch / oooh / how do they werk / free blue ray rips without having to buy a gaystation / k plox / and u know wuts way moar great about it / nobudy gets harmed
  • Arbiter: What are you talking about? Of course it causes harm which is quite obviously the worst thing about it, it's stealing.
  • Chief: Im not st33ling u fucking mong / im just taking sumthing thats not mien foar free
  • Arbiter: Oh I see, could have told me that earlier. Saved us all this friction... sigh, I wish sarcasm worked on you.
  • Chief: tell meh one singel things thats rong with downloading / and dont be a cocksucker and say "cuz its illegel"
  • Arbiter: Yes, because anyone who lives within the confines of law might as well be sucking cock.
  • Chief: even if i does get caught i dont think they haz a jail foar toys does u / it'll be jon who gos to jail and gets ass raped foar evar so wut teh fuck do i cared lololollollol
  • Arbiter: You speak as if illegality holds no weight. Laws are there to maintain order and keep society from descending into chaos.
  • Chief: chaos is teh shit / order is fucking laem / besides if teh guvermint didn't wants meh to download stuff y wud he make it so easy / teh laws r forcing ppls to act liek fucking idiots."
  • Arbiter: Aside from that Illegal downloading just makes you susceptible to viruses and spyware.
  • Chief: only if ur fucking retarted
  • Arbiter: Besides most torrents are bogus and only contain porn.
  • Chief: Ossim / ossim possum
  • Arbiter: I know internet piracy isn't a black and white issue but can you at least see what I'm saying here?

Chief looks around though a toilet paper roll.

  • Chief: wuts wrong with blacks and whites? u fucking racsist / wtf does u want to walk all teh ways to werevar teh store is somehow bought all teh movies and drag them back heer?
  • Arbiter: The bottom line is that the people who created and distributed the content you're consuming aren't being compensated and you couldn't care less about the fact. That makes you the worst kind of pirate.
  • Chief: teh pirates lief is teh lief for meh / lollololol and a bottel of win
  • Arbiter: At least tell me you've been downloading through a proxy.
  • Chief: wtf is a poxy? does poxy haz a sister i dont know about?

There is a knock at the door.

  • Policeman: Police! Search warrant.

Credits roll. The end.

more coming soon...