A Vereh Scareh H4110w33n
Season Hypermail, Episode 10
A Very Scary Halloween
Air date October 29, 2011
Written by Jon Graham
Directed by Jon Graham
Episode guide
Dukes of Dongs
Hypermail Anniversary
A Vereh Scareh H4110w33n is the tenth episode of Hypermail: Season 1.


Master Chief and the Arbiter answer another batch of viewer mail, themed for Halloween.


The episode starts with Arbiter everyone a happy halloween. He then decides to start the mail, asking Chief if he wants to go first. With no reply, Arbiter looks next to him, and sees Chief lying down with a blanket on top of a copy of Dead Space 2. Arbiter asks what's going on. Chief tells him that he is suffering heavily from his dick cancer. Chief screams, and says that everything is going dark. Arbiter tells him to stop, saying that what he is doing is offensive. However, he doesn't. Arbiter starts the hypermail anyway.

From Doctor Vanderhaven:

"dear master chief,

I am DR. vanderhaven and i have been studying and working on curing dick cancer for 10 years now and i think i have made a breakthrough! i have found (and i'm completely serious about this) a kind of bacteria in the anus of 2 spices, the elites and the arbiters. you see, the bacteria works its way through any bodily fluids and can destroy any cancer cells, not harming any body tissue or cells. though it is hard to extract the bacteria for every other kind of cancer, dick cancer can be cured through direct contact in the anus.

arby, chief, you know what you must do.


Dr. Jonathan Vanderhaven" - Arbiter thinks it is gross. Chief decides that he would rather not go through it either. After getting a little angry at Arbiter, Chief starts screaming because of the dick cancer again.

Chief starts trying to bribe people for money again. He tells people to send 1000 dollars to the Master Chief :D foundaton. Arbiter tells him that nobody is going to send him money. Chief gets pissed off at the viewers, calling them ungreatful assholes. After that, Chief gets up, confirming that he was faking just to get money from people. He then reads somebody elses mail.

From Christine:

"Dear Arbiter and Chief,

What are you going to be for Halloween this year? Please model your costumes.


Christine" - After getting annoyed with the fact that there are no nudes attached, Chief reads the mail. Arbiter says that he is dressing up as an asshole, and Chief says he is dressing up as a faggot. They were wearing each other's costumes.

From Shatty:

''I find your show hard to masturbate to...

Sincerely, Shatty." - Arbiter apologizes, and says that they will try to make the show more "wank friendly". Chief says it would help if more viewers would send nudes.

From John:

"Dear Arbiter and Chief,

This question is for both of you. What is your worst fear?

Sincerely, John" - Arbiter says that his worst fear is being stuck in a room with Chief for the rest of eternity. Chief's worst fear is to fuck John's mother with a rubber.

From Liam:

"Dear Arbiter,

Have you ever wondered if Chiefs abrasive personality and apparent homophobia may be a simple repression of his own homosexual desires?

-Liam" - Arbiter says that he doesn't wonder it at all because of how obvious it is.

At the end of the video, Arbiter wishes everyone a happy halloween again, and Chief says that he hopes all the trick or treaters get poisoned. After they go, a post it note saying "happy halloween lol >:3" can be seen. This was most likely put there by Greg.


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Hypermail "A Vereh Scareh H4110w33n"

Hypermail "A Vereh Scareh H4110w33n"