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Viewer discretion warning is shown. Opening credits roll. The scene begins with Toad dragging Arbiter along the ground, bound in what appears to be a steel cable.

  • Arbiter: Wow. I don’t believe this. …Wow.
  • Toad: Believe it.

The camera changes, showing Mario and Luigi standing together as Toad drags Arbiter towards the brothers.

  • Arbiter: What’s the point of this?

Mario slowly turns and looks at the cupboard in which he forced Sonic.

  • Luigi: The-The cupboard? No! I-I don’t want to Mario!
  • Mario: That may be but I’m much larger than you are!
  • Arbiter: Is someone gonna tell me what’s going on here? What the fuck?
  • Mario: I hate Master Chief! I really do! But you know who I hate more? Pseudo-intellectual smart-asses such as yourself. I also have a real problem with non-humans in general. You… You remind me a lot of Bowser.
  • Arbiter: I don’t look anything like Bowser. Bowser’s a dragon. I’m not a fucking dragon. You need your fucking eyes checked, psycho. This is bullshit! You can’t just lock people inside a cupboard!
  • Mario: You are NOT people.

Luigi proceeds to open the cupboard. Sonic can be seen sitting by the door, his Sharpie as always just next to him.

  • Sonic: Am-Am I free to go?
  • Mario: Shut up.

Toad drags Arbiter and throws him in the cupboard, the steel cable still around him, before Luigi slams the cupboard door shut and the screen turns to darkness. Suddenly a lamp is switched on and Sonic starts taking a big sniff of the Sharpie.

  • Sonic: W-Want some?
  • Arbiter: No.
  • Sonic: How’d you end up in here?
  • Arbiter: By being myself. You?
  • Sonic: I accidentally told Hans where the copy of Halo 3 was. No one’s supposed to play it. Mario hates Halo. Fah… But I told him anyway and now I’m here.
  • Arbiter: I got that impression. Looks like Chief and I both sold out someone else. Man, I’m a jack-off. …What’s gonna happen to us?
  • Sonic: We’re gonna die man! Second thoughts? (Points the Sharpie towards Arbiter)
  • Arbiter: Gimme that.

The scene changes to Chief outside his box, a black ball by his feet.

  • Chief: o k Rbetur / u rdy??? / u rdy 4 dis??? (The camera changes to show a crude drawing of Arbiter on the side of the box, accompanied by a smiley face) / hear et cumz

Chief kicks the ball towards the crude drawing of Arbiter, who, of course, does nothing but stare at Chief.

  • Chief: no Rbetur / u r saposed 2 catuch et / reeee taurd / u getz 1 moar tri Rbetur / k?!?? / 1 moar / hear et cumz

Chief kicks the ball once again, achieving a result no different to the last.

  • Chief: u shithed

Chief proceeds to put his foot through what is supposed to be Arbiter’s face, and gets his foot stuck in the wall of the box.

  • Chief: fawk / maeby i axtuali em stewped

Chief sits there, contemplating what he just said.

  • Chief: no

Credits roll. The end.