Season 7, Episode 6 (70)
Air date August 13, 2012
Written by Jon Graham
Directed by Jon Graham
Episode guide
Two Point Zero
"I hope you're wearing boots buddy. You've just stepped into some serious shit!"
Tyler to Brody after their encounter with him

Ashes is the sixth episode of the seventh season of Arby 'n' the Chief.

Summary Edit

Master Chief struggles to place his accidental incineration of Cortana out of his mind. Arbiter, under the impression that Cortana had asked Greg's assistance in having her mailed to a children's charity, attempts to come to terms with the fact that she's gone. Greg, aware of the truth, is torn between confessing to Arbiter to clear his conscience and concealing the truth to keep the peace in the apartment.

Plot Edit

As Arbiter is sitting by the window, looking outside, Master Chief is in the bathroom, drinking alcohol, still feeling remorseful about the murder of Cortana.

Meanwhile, two Xbox LIVE players are playing in an RPG server, but are interupted by Eugene Black, Tyler King, and Colin Hunt who join their server without permission and criticize them for their role-playing. The two however know Eugene and Tyler from their school, and one criticizes them for their low grade average, and Eugene for crying, to which Tyler starts snickering. Eugene confronts him, but is stopped by a moderator, and before the three leave, Eugene tells the two players that they'll be "seeing them soon".

Later, the Chief is playing Oddball in Halo: Reach. Arbiter criticizes him for simply going back to playing Halo after Cortana's "disappearance". Chief disregards what he says. In the game, Chief picks up the oddball, but the image of the skull on fire causes him to have a mental flash-back to incinerating Cortana alive, and scraping her remains out of the oven and flushing them down the toilet, and then throwing the disk on which she stands on deep into the closet. Disturbed, he decides to stop playing the game and goes back to the bathroom.

In the bathtub, Chief is joined by Greg and is smoking cigarettes for the first time in his life. Chief claims he is done being in denial and attempts to blame Greg for what happened, asking him why he didn't stop Cortana's death. Greg explains that by the time he arrived, she had already died and Chief was already disposing of her remains. In response, Chief tells Greg to leave him alone, but helps him out of the tub by throwing him.

Greg decides to check on Arbiter, who is still staring intently out the window. Arbiter tells Greg how he feels about Cortana's "leaving" and his anger at Chief. Greg explains what Chief is doing and the two go to the tub to join him.

In the bathtub again, Arbiter and Greg confront Chief about smoking, although he thinks that it's okay because Jon does it. Arbiter claims that Jon isn't a role model, and the three decide to enjoy what little friendship they all have with one another, as long as Chief behaves. Chief agrees with "k" and the scene shifts to him and Arbiter playing Halo.

While playing, Arbiter notices Eugene is on, although he still doesn't know Eugene's name. Chief teases Arbiter a bit for making an online friend with homophobic remarks, but Arbiter ignores about it and the two join Eugene's match, only to walk in on Eugene and his girlfriend, Michelle Harris, having a small argument. Arbiter asks if it's okay with him for both him and to Chief play, Eugene accepts because he feels the he and Michelle aren't enjoying each other's company. Arbiter and Michelle greet, and Arbiter realizes he doesn't know Eugene's name. Eugene tells Arbiter his name and the Chief breaks into the conversation, asking Michelle if she's really a "grill". Michelle doesn't understand him, but Eugene tells him she is, after insulting her somewhat by saying, "Not the finest model available". Chief laughs at this and instantly feels he's made a new friend. Michelle walks away and Eugene suggests they get back to the game.

Michelle walks through a cave, checking for enemy players, only to find out she's being closely followed by Chief. The two awkwardly walk through the cave's interior together until Michelle asks Chief what other games he likes. Chief is amused at this question, and explains how Halo is the best and only good game in the world and anyone who disagrees are "autistic hipster shithead". He then turns around to see that Michelle has left due to his additude.

Still in the game, Arbiter and Eugene are standing atop a large rock. Eugene who is sniping other players, starts conversing with Arbiter, asking him how he's been. Arbiter tells Eugene he's had it rough the past few days, what with Cortana's "leaving" and all, Chief's ignorance about her "leaving" and Greg's refusal to "convince Cortana to stay". Eugene then tells Arbiter to keep his head up, but Arbiter turns the conversation around by asking Eugene how his deathly ill sister is. Eugene doesn't respond at first, so Arbiter wonders if he's being invasive by asking. Eugene finally tells Arbiter that his sister had been such a strong figure in his life and has no idea how she can keep such a positive attitude in her state. Arbiter tells Eugene that at least he can be thankful that she is positive and hopeful that she stays that way.

Meanwhile, Michelle is seen sniping from behind some rocks until she is interrupted by Arbiter's accidental shooting. Arbiter apologizes and Michelle says she would rather be shot than listen to the Chief anymore. The two get into a talk about which games Michelle likes, older Nintendo games and which ones they enjoy most. Arbiter states that Michelle may be his "new favorite person". An enemy player runs at them, shooting at Michelle. With one shot, Michelle manages to kill them. Arbiter compliments her for this and Michelle is thankful that someone notices her little skill in Halo.

Later in the game, Eugene, now crouching by a small cliffside, gets shot in the head and dies. Respawing near a cave entrance, Eugene is furious about his previous death and vows vengance on the player that shot him, spouting curse words in the process. Arbiter and Michelle join Eugene opposite of the cave and Eugene claims that his death was "such fucking horse shit" and starts talking about his new-found desire to beat the other team. Michelle tries to calm Eugene down by telling him that they've just discussed about getting so angry and using obscene language. Eugene questions what she's doing playing online games if she's easily offended and she replies, saying that she only wants to play with him. Michelle states that she suddenly has to go and leaves the game, leaving Arbiter and Eugene in an awkward state together.

Eugene apologizes to Arbiter, but Arbiter tells Eugene that he's not the one he should be saying sorry to. Eugene admits he was out of line and he only did that because of his agitation from his sister's state, but he still should not take it out on Michelle. Chief finds the two and makes a remark that strikes humor in Eugene, but annoyance in Arbiter. Eugene asks Chief his name, and Chief replies, "mastur ch33f". Eugene now laughs at Chief and Arbiter's names, satirically remarking that the two are very "original". Chief continues to humor Eugene as Arbiter stands there silent.

Later that night, the two have quit the game and Arbiter is now standing in the kitchen and is getting a bag of cereal. He pauses for a moment, thinking about Cortana. He then finally snaps and throws the bag against the wall out of anger, spilling a large amount of it on the floor.

Chief sits in the tub with a cell phone, several cigarette butts, an empty shot glass, an empty bottle of Jack Daniel's and is listening to techno music in silence.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Main article: Ashes/Transcript

Episode How-Tos Edit

  • HOW TO pursue entertainment at the expense of others
  • HOW TO take a couple of deep tokens
  • HOW TO be a complete hippopotacrite
  • HOW TO throw a temper tantrum on the internet
  • HOW TO get super cancer

Reception Edit

This episode received very positive reception from fans upon its release.

Trivia Edit

  • This episode was delayed five times. It was originally supposed to be aired on the 28th of July, 2012, but it was first delayed until the 4th of August, 2012 because Jon needed more time to work on the episode's script. The second time, it was delayed until the 11th of August because the voice actor for a major character in the episode was unavailable until the following Monday. In place of this episode, a director's commentary version of "Terminal" and the Bytes finale, "Growing Pains", were released, respectively. However, Jon stated in his blog that the episode would be up the night of the 11th, but it was not. The next day, Jon said he has completely finished the episode and has started submitting it to Machinima, although it wasn't released that day either. Jon apologized once again via his blog and stated that, after talking to Machinima, the episode would be aired on the 13th of August, to which it was.
  • The episode was originally entitled "Ashes to Ashes", but was shortened to "Ashes" for unstated reasons.
  • Jon Graham actually does smoke, as he stated in a director's commentary video. He said that he had Chief pick up smoking (and be subsequently persuaded to quit by the other characters) as a way of encouraging himself to give up the habit.

Watch the episode Edit

Arby 'n' the Chief - S7E06 - "Ashes"

Arby 'n' the Chief - S7E06 - "Ashes"

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