| ← "Heat" | "Ashes" | "Two Point Zero" → |
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Scene 1: Morning[]
[Arbiter is seen looking through the living room window]
[Chief is sitting in the bathtub with a small glass of Jack Daniels and an empty bottle; he notices the bottle is empty while trying to refill the glass]
CHIEF: son of a bitch [throws it away]
CHIEF: :( { sad face }
Scene 2: Role-playing server[]
[cut to in-game server; cut of sign reading 'SECURITY ALERT']
[cut to view of a building burning on fire; title card fades in momentarily and then out]
[An overview of two playes and a variety of vehicles in a line are seen]
KYLE: Look man. I don't mean to pry. I just consider this a golden opportunity for you, and can't wrap my head around why you don't take advantage of it. It's a crime. It's a crime and I'm making a citizen's arrest. Whatever that is.
BRODY: I really think you're blowing this out of proportion.
KYLE: She gives you her number without being asked for it. Texts you every single chance she gets. Last night she asked you to watch movies at her place. What is it exactly I'm blowing out of proportion here? You're imploding the proportion man!
BRODY: Can we drop this please? [a door is heard opening] Sam, I swear to god you're really starting to piss me off! Get out and leave me alone. Knock first if you really need something from me okay? Go, now.
KYLE: Your little brother still barging into your room unannounced?
BRODY: Not even out of necessity. He does it purely to annoy me. Seriously considering getting a lock put on the door. Anyway, excluding tanks, large vehicles are 20,000 credits, small ones are 15. I can only sell you the human ones though. They're all that your acquired license permits you to operate. You'll of course need a separate license for firing the mounted weapon should you settle on a 'hog.
KYLE: It's looking that way. What can you tell me about the differences in suspension between the variants?
BRODY: That there aren't any, which you already know, and that you shouldn't be taking this quite as seriously as you are.
EUGENE: If it's suspension you're concerned about, sounds as though that of your disbelief could use an adjustment.
[Cut to Eugene, Tyler, and Colin, staring at Brody and Kyle from a distance]
TYLER: Jesus Christ! The 'gay' is so thick in this server that you can bottle it, and spread it on a fucking sandwich!
- Colin: I'd settle for Nutella personally.
KYLE: This is a private server. Who are you guys and h-how did you find it?
- TYLER: I swiped the address from the brief conversation between whom I believe to be you two fairies on our school's Facebook page. Almost missed it, squished between all the shitty cancerous rage comics.
KYLE: Eugene? Tyler?
EUGENE: Kyle right? And Brody? I've seen you guys around. The fuck's going on in here anyway?
- Colin: The server and the interface of its players are tweaked to incorporate a cash system, and various RPG elements.
- TYLER [snickers]: Wow!
- Colin: The game's objective isn't to frag other players as much as it is to collectively run a little economy. Players choose an occupation; Law Enforcer, Shop Owner, Criminal, whatever, and earn credits, spend them on property, items, and services.
EUGENE: That sounds fucking retarded. You idiots seriously get a kick out of this shit? [chuckles] Jesus.
KYLE: You weren't forced to join us, and no one's stopping you from leaving. If what we're doing is so lame, then why are you here?
EUGENE: You ought to be stoked. Our being here is a win-win situation. The three of us kill our boredom, soak up a few giggles at your expense, and consequently bless you with a little positive re-enforcement towards your tastes in entertainment.
KYLE: Everyone's tastes are different.
EUGENE: Too fucking right they are. Either suck or they don't. Yours suck, bitch. Deal with it.
BRODY: Funny that you'd be calling us bitches so soon after crying like one by the bike racks during lunch hour.
- TYLER: You were crying? [snickers] What the fuck?
EUGENE: Shut up!
BRODY: Not to mention "tasteful" is about the last word I'd use to describe the pursuit of entertainment at the expense of others. On top of that, Kyle and I manage to maintain A-grade averages. I'm not sure who you are [towards Colin] but I know you [Eugene] and Tyler are harsh failing everything, and it's no wonder given that you're constantly bailing from class to get baked.
- TYLER: You better not be knocking the herb, cocksucker!
EUGENE: I'm failing my classes due to a lack of giving a single fuck about grades, not a lack of knowledge.
BRODY: In other words, you can succeed, you just don't want to.
[Eugene gets up close and personal to Brody]
EUGENE: Check yourself.
[Another Spartan Player, this time in red appears from besides a building and sees the conflict between the players]
MODERATOR: Is there a problem here?
KYLE: Yeah, these people joined for the sole purpose of harassing people, starting with us.
MODERATOR [towards the troll clan]: I'm gonna have to ask you guys to leave the server, otherwise I'll be forced to eject you.
EUGENE: See you soon.
[Eugene turns and prepares to leave, but makes one last glance at Brody before leaving. Colin too turns and leaves as well without saying anything]
TYLER: I hope you're wearing boots buddy. You've just stepped into some serious shit!
[Tyler finally leaves too as the other three players watch them]
Scene 3: Jon's living room[]
[Arbiter is looking through the window; Chief is playing Halo; a voice is heard announcing "ball taken" and "ball dropped" once every few moments]
- Arbiter [turns to Chief]: I keep telling myself that I've come to terms with the kind of person that you are, but you never fail to reach greater levels of appalling me.
CHIEF: we isnt a persins, arbitur / when r u gona gots that tru ur fucking hed? / were plastic / that is all / NO S'MORES / NO MESS.
- Arbiter: "No more, no less."
CHIEF: glad ur finaly fucking on bored / t00k u lawng enuff
- Arbiter: You play the most significant role by a disgusting margin in driving away Cortana and you have the nerve to just sit there playing video games?
CHIEF: wat is doen is doen / its bin 2 days sinse she left / wtf did u wantid me 2 does about it huh? / sit around liek a little emo c**t forevar liek u? / lol
[Arbiter turns back; shot at Chief playing]
[Shot at gameplay; Chief takes the ball, having the shape of a flaming skull]
[Brief flashes of "Heat" while Chief keeps playing]
CHIEF: [drops the controller] fuck this shit [goes away]
["Kansas City (Winter Face Remix)" starts playing; Arbiter looks at him, then turns back again; music increases in volume]
Scene 4: Bathroom[]
[Greg and Chief are in the bathtub; Chief is smoking a lit cigarette]
CHIEF: u no, i nevar thot in a miliens of y33rs that id evenchilly got ovar hao goddam ugly u r / & i was rite / SHIT MAN / this shit h33r bro? / this shit rite h33r? / this shits tha muther fucking shit bro / u want cupple tokens off of this shit?
GREG: U shouldn't b smoking
CHIEF: shut up / u smoke poles, and i smoke cigaretes nao / we all has our vices, hippopotacrite
GREG: Hippo-what?
CHIEF: it taked a whiel, but the frogs has finaly cl33red / im not insiede of denials n e moar / i am outsied of those / i has finally realised and acksepted who is responsibble for this mess / no moar blaeming evrybody who dusnt deserved it
GREG: Appalled as I remain by ur actions, Im glad Uve made this small step
CHIEF: u glad? / U OUGHT 2 B FUCKING ASHAEMED OF URSELF U MURDERING BASTERD
GREG: U can't possibly B blaming me
CHIEF: well it GOTS 2 b possibel cuz i am / u sed that u saw me murdered cortana / so why the fuck didnt u stopped me then? / hao the hell culd u just sit on ur ass and let it hapened huh? / u fucking dissgust me / THE ONLY THING UGLIER THAN U IS UR SOUL
GREG: It was Cortana screaming that caught my attention.
[beat]
GREG: When I arrived u were already scraping/flushing her remains.
CHIEF: get out / fuck off and leave me aloen pls / kthxbai / bai bai
[music increases in volume]
GREG: Need hand getting out of bath being a spider and all.
[shot at Chief's face; then at Greg being thrown out of the bathtub]
Scene 5: Living room[]
[Greg arrives by the window]
GREG: How are u feeling?
- Arbiter: Awesome. [short beat; Greg shakes slightly] I'm fucking furious with Chief. I should be kicking his fucking ass right now. [beat] And I understand the loyalty you'd be compelled to offer Cortana after she asks you for your help, but I really wish you had convinced her to stay.
GREG: I tried.
- Arbiter: Not hard enough. [short beat] That being said, I accept that I also played a part in her decision, albeit a small one. I think Chief was right about one thing. It doesn't make much sense that she'd decide to leave unless she genuinely felt alienated from all three of us. [short beat] I must've been rude or aggressive once too often for her liking. But she had me so convinced that I was her friend. I certainly considered her as such. Chief's over the fucking moon. He couldn't give less of a shit if he tried.
GREG: He's in the tub smoking cigarettes
- Arbiter: Smoking cigarettes? What the fuck?
Scene 6: Bathroom[]
[Arbiter is sitting inside the bathtub with Chief; Greg is sitting in the corner]
- Arbiter: I'm far from over what your actions have caused, but I take no pleasure in watching you continue to act like a fucking idiot and start smoking.
CHIEF: no ur an idiet / its k / jon smoaks
- Arbiter: Jon's retarded. He shouldn't be serving as an example of any sort of behavior.
CHIEF: wats the big fucking d33l / wat does u caered n e ways?
- Arbiter: You've never smoked once before now. Not to my knowledge, anyway -- but I'm fairly confident that you haven't. That tells me that you must be feeling remorse to some degree over Cortana's departure.
[short beat]
CHIEF: well yeah
[beat; shot at Greg, then Arbiter]
- Arbiter: Greg and I have been talking. We eventually agreed that the three of us should attempt to place the past behind us. Salvage what little friendship remains here.
[beat]
CHIEF: srsly?
- Arbiter: What's done is done. What else do we have? [short beat] But I'd only be willing to do so on the strict condition that you accept what you've done and make a genuine effort to better yourself, starting now. [short beat] Yes or no?
[beat]
CHIEF: k
[shot at Arbiter, then Greg]
Scene 7: Couch[]
- Arbiter: I met this guy the other night.
CHIEF: lol / i always knew u w00d
- Arbiter: Not like that. He just struck me as a cool guy.
- CHIEF: sure arbitur, u is all about the personalitees, isnt u? / rofl / ur so full of shit / ur just aftar summadat ass liek the rest of us / cept i fuck bitches / /flex
- Arbiter: He's online. We should join his session. Who knows, you might like him.
CHIEF: fuck that shit y w00d i lieked anothir guy thats fucking gay as hell
- Arbiter: Look, it's been a while since I last made a friend online.
CHIEF: lol / loser
- Arbiter: Yeah, hilarious. You haven't made a single one, bitch.
CHIEF: shut ur butt / on secind thots, ur boyfriend mite not b 2 :D (happy face) about that / lmao
- Arbiter: What do you say to refraining from engaging in your typical antics and make an effort to behave yourself online? Make some friends?
CHIEF: no u
- Arbiter: How did I ever hold any hope? Why?
Scene 8: Halo[]
[overview of Forge World, cuts to Eugene and Michelle]
MICHELLE: Look, I get it, okay. It's a joke. You're joking. All I'm saying is it's those type of jokes that I'm not particularly fond of. Not every five minutes especially. I really don't think I'm asking for much.
EUGENE: Alright, Jesus.
[Arbiter and Chief enter the server, walking over to Eugene and Michelle]
- Arbiter: Hey, man! Hello?
EUGENE: Oh, hey! What's going on?
- Arbiter: Nothing much, wouldn't mind killing a few hours on here. Sorry -- are you playing with somebody? We can buzz off if we're interrupting.
MICHELLE: Oh, not at all! Feel free to play with us if you'd like.
EUGENE: Yeah, I insist. This is my girlfriend, Michelle. We were getting a little sick of one another's company anyway I think.
- Arbiter: Hello, Michelle. Nice to meet you.
MICHELLE: Nice to meet you too.
- Arbiter: I've just realised that I haven't actually caught your name yet. Derp.
EUGENE: Eugene.
- Arbiter: Eugene. Cool.
CHIEF: hay can i axe u a quest chin? r u rly a grill?
MICHELLE: Am I really a.... what?
EUGENE: [laughs for a brief second] Yeah, not the finest model available but load her up with juice and she'll roast you a mean burger afterwards. CHIEF: ROFLMAO
MICHELLE: (sarcastically) Thanks for that...
[Michelle walks away as Eugene watches]
EUGENE: Well, I suggest we drop as many folks as we can before this is all over with.
- Arbiter: Sounds good.
[cut of Michelle entering a cave location]
[cut of Chief also entering the cave]
[cut of both Michelle and Chief walking in the cave together, through a large puddle of water]
MICHELLE: [coughs] Ah, so what games are you into besides Halo?
CHIEF: other gaems? LOL / EVRYBODY NOES HALO IS THE BEST FUCKING GAEMS EVER MAED IN THE WHOAL GOD DAM UNIVERSE AND EVRY OTHER GAEMS FUCKING SUCKS ANUS AND IF U DUSNT AGR33D THEN UR AN AUTISTIC PLEB AS FUCK HIPSTER SHIT HEAD
[Michelle stops walking with Chief and stands still during his response]
[Chief turns around, Michelle is gone]
CHIEF: HELLO?
[cuts to Arbiter and Eugene ontop of a mountain, Eugene shoots his Sniper Rifle]
EUGENE: So how have things been man? Sleeping any better?
- Arbiter: I slept pretty well following our encounter, but some shit went down the next morning which has been a real bitch to deal with. Not so well again since.
EUGENE: Shit, bro. Sorry. But hey, if you managed to put your troubles behind you that one night, I'm confident that you can repeat the feat.
- Arbiter: Thanks. Hopefully. How's your sister doing? If you don't mind my asking -- I apologise if I'm being invasive.
EUGENE: No no, it's cool. I appreciate the thought. She was well enough that I could shoot the shit with her at her beside for a little while but not much more. [sighs] And she's been such a strong figure in my life for as long as I can remember, so seeing her like that is like... fuck, man...
- Arbiter: Yeah.
[Eugene shoots his Sniper Rifle]
EUGENE: Yet she manages to maintain a sense of humour about the whole thing. No idea where she finds the strength to pull that off.
- Arbiter: Well we can at least be thankful that she found it, wherever it may be, and hopeful that she doesn't lose sight of it. Maybe one day we'll find it ourselves.
EUGENE: ...You're alright, Arbiter.
[cuts to Michelle camping near a few rocks beside the sea with a Sniper Rifle]
[Arbiter arrives and begins to shoot her]
- Arbiter: Oh -- woops. Sorry. Thought you were on the other team.
MICHELLE: That's okay. Red and blue are very easy to mix up.
- Arbiter: Thanks for your understanding.
MICHELLE: In all honesty, I'd prefer to be shot in the face over attempting to make a conversation with your friend anyway.
- Arbiter: Don't get me started. Oh, and I appreciate it if you wouldn't judge my character based on his behaviour -- we're polar opposites, I assure you.
MICHELLE: I wouldn't dream of it.
- Arbiter: So, are you much of a gamer?
MICHELLE: I don't quite consider myself to be a full on gamer girl type, but I do love games. I grew up on Super Nintendo RPG's. Breath Of Fire, Final Fantasy, Lufia-
- Arbiter: Chrono Trigger? Seven Stars?
MICHELLE: Of course.
- Arbiter: Earthbound?
MICHELLE: Earthbound? What's that? [laughs briefly] Just kidding, I always have a special place in my heart for that game. It's adorable.
- Arbiter: I agree. So colorful. I love how story-driven it is.
MICHELLE: Me too.
- Arbiter: I think you're my new favourite person.
[Michelle is shot by an approaching player, she turns around and kills him with her Sniper Rifle]
- Arbiter: Cracking shot there.
MICHELLE: Thank you. I'm far from awesome at it but I'm glad somebody acknowledges what little skill I have.
[cut to Eugene atop of the mountain using the Sniper Rifle, he is killed by another anonymous Sniper Rifle shot]
EUGENE: Fuck!
[cut to a lower canyon where Eugene respawns]
EUGENE: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! That was such fucking horseshit!
[Arbiter and Michelle walk up to Eugene]
EUGENE: I totally had that motherfucker. Jesus fucking Christ. That's it. It's on. I'm gonna rape this little bitch.
MICHELLE: Oh my god. Didn't we just cover this Eugene? I understand you find the enjoyment of speaking in a colourful way, but I really don't consider rape as something to be joked about. And I told you, I don't wanna hear it.
EUGENE: Strong language comes with the territory okay!? If you're so easily offended then what the fuck are you doing playing online video games in the first place!?
MICHELLE: ...To play with you. I've gotta go, sorry about this. It was a pleasure meeting you Arbiter.
[Michelle walks away]
- Arbiter: Likewise. No worries.
EUGENE: ...Sorry.
- Arbiter: Not trying to cross any boundaries when I say that maybe it's not me you should be apologizing to.
EUGENE: Yeah. I was outta line there. I've been agitated as fuck since Madeline collapsed. You understand. But it's no excuse. I shouldn't be taking it out on Michelle, period.
[Chief walks over to Eugene and Arbiter]
CHIEF: u sure shes not ackshully just on her peried? LOL
[Arbiter and Eugene turn to look at Chief; beat]
EUGENE: [laughs] Where the fuck did you find this guy Arbiter? He's hysterical!
CHIEF: :D (happy face)
EUGENE: What's your name dude?
CHIEF: mastur ch33f
EUGENE: Master Chief and the Arbiter. Shit, I better get to higher ground, it's a tidal wave of originality and it's coming right at me!
CHIEF: given that it is thoese tiems of the munths, lets hoep thats the only kind / LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
[Eugene laughs, Chief begins jumping up and down firing his Assault Rifle]
Scene 9: Arbiter's supper[]
[late evening or night; Arbiter looks at Cortana's former sleeping place]
[he goes to kitchen and takes a pack of cereal]
[cut to Arbiter eating from a bowl; beat; he takes the pack of cereal and throws it against the wall; the cereal scatters on the floor]
[cut to Greg watching him]
Scene 10: Night[]
[cut to darkness; only a clock showing 4:03 is visible; a half-muted "Feel It" by Kid Digital ft. MC Kyla plays in the background]
[cut to Arbiter listening to rain noise]
[cut to bathroom door, with the "Danger" sign]
[cut to bathtub; music playing at full volume; Master Chief is smoking; a pile of cigarette butts/ashes and an empty bottle of Jack Daniel's lie next to him]
[abrupt silence]
[End credits]