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← "God's Work" "B& (Part 1)" "B& (Part 2)" →
This is the transcript for Season 4 episode, B& (Part 1).

Scene 1: Jon's Moved ApartmentEdit

It is some time after the launch of Halo: Reach. After Jon moved, Arbiter and Chief started trying to find Halo: Reach since the game is out. They have no idea where in the house it is, so they search. Or rather, Arbiter searches while Chief orders him around.

  • Chief: IS IT IN THERE / IS IT TH3RE
  • Arbiter: I don't see it.

Chief kicks the box.

  • Chief: BALLS
  • Arbiter: It can't have gone far.

Arbiter finds the Sonic CD case then throws it behind him.

  • Arbiter: It's gotta be in one of these boxes. We'll find it eventually.
  • Chief: y did he have 2 move / weather he's here or there hes still a fuckign los3r anyway
  • Arbiter Not as big a loser as you, Chief.

Chief sits and lays on the wall.

  • Chief: LOOK MOAR FASTAR U FAG
  • Arbiter: Shut up! I've been at this for an hour now. You've done fuck all but stand there and complain.
  • Chief: but im teh boss / BOSS BOSS BOSS / every1 knows teh boss dusn't wurk

Arbiter finds a Zelda game, but then puts it away then checks again.

  • Arbiter: Oh... Found something...
  • Chief: REACH?!/ DID U FIND REACH

Master Chief walks toward to the box.

  • Arbiter: Nope. COD.

Arbiter reveals that he found Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.

  • Arbiter: Bummer.

Chief holds it.

  • Chief: for fuck's sake

Chief walks away.

  • Chief: I GESS ITLL JUST HAVE 2 DO 4 NAO
  • Arbiter: Hey! Shithead! You should be helping me to look! Fine. But when I find it I'm playing first.
  • Chief: LOL / VERY FUNNY

Scene 2: Jon's Chair (Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2)Edit

Chief is playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.

  • Modern Warfare 2 Player: Wow, you're such a noob.
  • Chief: THATS NOT WAT UR MOTHER SED
  • Modern Warfare 2 Player: Not you! Well you're a noob too, but there's tards like you everywhere now. I'm talking about the rather obvious JTAGer bouncing all over the place with infinite ammo.
  • Chief: wtf is JTAG

Chief sees a JTAGer shooting ammo without even reloading.

  • Chief: HOLY CRAP / how did u do taht. U DUSNT EVEN HAS 2 RELAOD UR GUNZ
  • JTAG Hacker: Um.. it's kind of a complex procedure, you probably wouldn't get it.
  • Modern Warfare 2 Player: Yeah, all that googling would wear anyone out. You're a huge douche.
  • Chief: TELL ME UR SECRITS
  • JTAG Hacker: I moded my Xbox to run homebrew code.
  • Chief: if u teach meh 2 hack ill srsly suck ur dick
  • JTAG Hacker: Well, it's kind of hard.
  • Chief: so is mien
  • Modern Warfare 2 Player: Holy Christ, that's it I'm fucking out of here.
  • Chief: LOL / WHAT A PUSSY
  • JTAG Hacker: I'll send you instructions I guess. Do you have an email address?

Scene 3: Jon's Apartment (Hallway door)Edit

Arbiter walks toward the door then turns around to Master Chief.

  • Arbiter: Reach isn't up here. I've checked the whole place. No thanks to you.
  • Chief: DONT MENSHIN IT
  • Arbiter: It has to be downstairs in storage somewhere.
  • Chief: GOOD LUCKS
  • Arbiter: It could take a while...
  • Chief: TAKE ALL TEH TIEMS U N33D BUDDY
  • Arbiter: ...I could use some help.
  • Chief: THATS A SHAME
  • Arbiter: ...You are such an asshole.

After Arbiter walks out of the door, Master Chief grabs a screwdriver and mods the Xbox 360 to run JTAG.

Scene 4: Modern Warfare 2Edit

  • Chief: THIS IS GUNA B FUCKIGN KILLAR

Then Chief goes back to the game, and starts using hacks.

  • Chief: BOOM!!1! BODY SHOT
  • Modern Warfare 2 Player #2: Okay, I just watched my killcam and that was seriously the most retarded shit I ever seen.
  • Chief: HAHAHHAHH / OMG / I CANT BREATH / THIS IS FUCKING AMASING / HAHAHAHHAH
  • Modern Warfare 2 Player #1: Wow, it's you again. You actually did it?
  • Chief: JTAG CLAN AINT NOTHIN TO FUCK WITH
  • [Modern Warfare 2 Player #3: Wow! How are you doing that?
  • Chief::U WUDNT UNDRESTAND NOB / ITS A RLY COMPLECKS PROSEEDIAR
  • Modern Warfare 2 Player #1: I'm leaving now.
  • Chief: YOU FULL AGAEN?!?!?1/ U SHUD BUY STRONGAR TAMPONS
  • Modern Warfare 2 Player #4: This is so lame! I can't even hit you!
  • Chief: HAHAHHAHAHAHHA / IM INVINSIBEL / NOEN OF U RETARDS CAN STOP ME / NOTHIGN CAN STOP MEH / ROFLMAO!1!one!1!!shift!eleven!+111!

However, the Xbox 360 is quickly banned for violations of the Terms of Use.

  • Chief: NO / NOOOOO!!1!!1! THATS NOT FAER / THATS NOT FUCKIGN FAER / THIS IS FUCKING HORSESHIT / FUCK THIS SHIT

Arbiter comes back upstairs.

  • Arbiter: I finally found Reach!

Master Chief looks from the side of the chair at Arbiter bringing Halo: Reach in.

  • Arbiter: It was way at the back. Remember, I get to play first!
  • Chief: UH OH SPAGETTIOH

To be continued... Credits roll. The end.