Arby 'n' the Chief Wiki
Arby 'n' the Chief Wiki
Advertisement
← "The Storm" "Blackout" "Remission" →

Scene 1: Highlands (TOSERS Server)[]

Claire is seen walking across the map. Cody walks out of a building and passes her.

  • Claire:"Hello."
  • Cody:"[laughs]"

Claire stops walking.

  • Claire:"Excuse me? Did I say something funny?
  • Cody:"It's just with this being a video game, I didn't think TOSERS was lookin' for a kitchen staff too.
  • Claire:"What? Fucking asshole."

Claire walks into the armory. She almost bumps into Stephan.

  • Claire:"Whoops."
  • Stephan:"Sorry."

The keep walking together.

  • Stephan:"It's Claire,right?"
  • Claire:"Yeah. How'd you know?"
  • Stephan:"I herd a couple of administrators talking about. You're doing a stellar job so far apparently.You're level zero right? I don't think you're too far from a bump."
  • Claire:"Really? That's awesome. Are you the administrator?"
  • Stephan:"No. But I'm close enough. I'm a level three so I've got most administrator privlages."
  • Claire:"So I suppose you'd know if we're breaking any ground in regard to that hacker clan."
  • Stephan:"Well, we're doing our best. We've been sending moderators into the private servers to find the source of their hacks. I have a feeling this will all be over very shortly."
  • Claire:"Out of curiosity, what's to stop the clan from joining this server and attacking us?"
  • Stephan:"Well...nothing. But we have higher security measures. They can't use their hacks in here. So I don't think it's at the top of thier to-do list."
  • Claire:"That's good."
  • Stephan:"So were are you headed off to?Supervising some matches?"
  • Claire:"Yeah. You?"
  • Stephan:"Same. So how are you liking it so far?"
  • Claire:" It's okay. Kinda boring at times. But all the online jerks keep it interesting if nothing else."
  • Stephan:"Tell me about it. I was supervising these two guys recently. One was okay but his friend was a humungous tool. They spoke in these shitty synth voices. Like from two thousand NXP. If you familiar with software models."
  • Claire:"I know who you're talkin' about."
  • Stephan:"Oh, are you friends?"
  • Claire:"Definetly not with the green one. But the other's a friend. We have kind of a history actually. He was nice but he was kinda cynical and nihlistic."
  • Stephan:"Hmmm."
  • Claire:"And I said something mean to him that I shouldn't have. I hope he's doing okay."

Cut to Arbiter and Chief in the hacker server where the previous episode left off.

  • Adam:"Ice these mother fuckers! They're both moderators!"
  • Chief:"uh o spaggettio
  • Arbiter:"What? No we aren't.

One of the hackers puts his magnum to Arbiter's head.

  • Adam:"We saw both of them at a TOSERS skill evaluation match! Blow their fucking heads off!"
  • Arbiter:"Okay we were. But we were just discharged okay! We have no affiliation with them anymore! You can ask them yourselfs."

The 'Red hacker grunt raises his shotgun.

  • Hacker Leader :"Yeah, like they'd tell us the truth. You think we're fuckin' stupid?"

Chief starts jumping up and down.

  • Chief:"u gaiz srsly gots 2 b3l33v us, k? / u g0ts 2"
  • Hacker Leader[to Chief]:"You need to stop talking. Period."
  • Arbiter:"But we weren't on your list. If we were undercover shouldn't we be on there?"
  • Clyde:"There is nothing to debate about this situation. Anyone who has anything to do with TOSERS that sets foot in here shouldn't be left standing.
  • Hacker Leader:"I concur.
  • Chief:"o noes / :( [sad face]

The hacker grunt aiming at Arbiter starts firing. The hacker gets sniped.

  • Adam:"What the fuck!?
  • Hacker Leader:"God damnit! Sons of bitches don't stop comin' do they!?
  • Chief:"tahts wut ur m0m sed

All the hackers start blindly firing at the upper level. Kevin is seen on the upper level firing a sniper rifle.Chief grabs a Rocket launcher from the table and Arbiter gets a DMR and fires his magnum.

  • Chief:":D [happy face] / o yeh bb[baby]
  • Arbiter:"Alright, we can't leave without those hacks.We've gotta stick together if we're gonna pull this shit off.
  • Chief:"FREEZ / TOSERS / GET DOWN ON TEH FUCKIGN GROUND / LOL

Chief runs away up the stairs.

  • Arbiter:"Chief!

Clyde starts moving towards Arbiter and firing his magnum. Arbiter runs up the stairs.

  • Arbiter:"God damnit."

Opening credits roll.

Scene 2: Reflection ( Hacker server)[]

The firefight continues. The Red Hacker grunt runs up the stairs to behind Kevin.

  • Arbiter:"Heads up, mother fucker.

Arbiter shoots the hacker to death and he falls off the balcony.

  • Kevin:"Thanks.
  • Arbiter:"Forget about it. We still owe you a couple. You with TOSERS?
  • Kevin:"Yeah."

Kevin jumps down to Arbiter's level.

  • Arbiter:"What's your name, dude?
  • Kevin:" Kevin."
  • Arbiter:"How old are you?
  • Kevin:"Does that really matter right now?
  • Arbiter:"It doesn't. You just sound surprisingly young.

Arbiter and Kevin run to another area and look around.

  • Kevin:"Well sometimes being young and being juvenile are mutually exculsive. You know what I mean?
  • Arbiter:"Looks that way.

The Grey hacker grunt sneaks up and assassinates Kevin.

  • Arbiter:"No!

The hacker starts firing his concussion rifle at Arbiter.

  • Arbiter: Fuck.You're gonna pay for that! You all are!"

Chief is seen a ways behind the hacker.

CHIEF: lolololololololololol / omg 1337 hax / omg bbq" Chief fires a rocket at the hacker. The hacker dodges and returns fire.Arbiter assassinates the hacker, kicking him across the room.

  • Arbiter:"Better find a new hobby, bitch."

The Hacker leader is seen looking around nervously. He finds his way to the elevator room. Chief appears in the doorway behind him.

  • Chief:"HAI / :) "

The Hacker leader tries to back up away from him. He sees Arbiter blocking the doorway, cutting off his escape.

  • Arbiter:"Nope."
  • Hacker Leader:"You'd better let me go or you'll be real fuckin' sorry. Ya hear me!"
  • Chief:"stfu"
  • Arbiter:"You're not in a psition to threaten us, bro. But I'll tell what...Give us the hack files and we'll think things over."
  • Hacker Leader:"Go to hell!

Arbiter fires his magnum, deliberatly missing the hacker's head.

  • Hacker Leader:"Alright! Just gimme a god damn second.
  • Arbiter:"This shit has gone on long enough. You're pissing a hell of a lot of people off us included. Give us the fucking files or you'll have little to occupy your day other then your hentai tentacle porn.
  • Chief: <3
  • Arbiter:"[to Chief] Gross, dude.
  • Hacker Leader:"Okay god damn it! I'm texting to you through the dash you should have them in a minute.
  • Arbiter:"Hurry the fuck up.

CHIEF:ya bitch

  • Hacker Leader:"You should have them now alright. We cool now?"
  • Arbiter:"[beat] Sorry. You've got to learn something from this I'm afraid..."

Chief assassinates the hacker.

CHIEF:"lololololololololololololol

  • Hacker Leader:"Mother fucker-"
  • Arbiter:"Shithead."

CHIEF: 2 teh goes arbitur / 2 teh goes Chief runs down the hallway.

  • Arbiter:"Chief! Let's stick together. Listen to me for fucks sake!"

Arbiter goes up the hall looking for Chief. He comes out on the main balcony and looks around. He turns and aims at the elevator just in time to see Clyde come up aiming at him.

  • Clyde:"What's up?
  • Arbiter:"The sky.
  • Clyde:"I can't believe you and your retarded friend have mange to come this far without getting yourselves fragged. Well done."
  • Arbiter:"Nothing really to be in disbelief about. You're done by the way. Whether we make out of this or not it's over."
  • Clyde:"Things are actually just getting started, my friend.

Adam comes up the hallway behind Arbiter.

  • Adam:"What's up!? You're fucked by the way. Just for your information. The more you know.

Chief arrives at the end of the hall behind Adam and runs to assassinate him.

CHIEF:no u

  • Clyde:"Adam! Behind you!

Cut to Jon's apartment. A crack of thunder is heard outside. The lights on the Xbox flicker and die and the Apartment is plunged into darkness.

  • Arbiter:"[beat] You have got to be fucking kidding me.

In game Arbiter and Chief's avatars both fall dead due to the power outage.

  • Adam:"[laughs] What was that about?

Scene 3: Jon's Apartment[]

A blank black screen is shown.

  • Arbiter: That was the worst fucking timing ever. And this had to happen at night obviously.

CHIEF: ARBITUR WAT HAPPIN? were'd all teh elektricities go? did they all go hoem?

  • Arbiter: Yeah for tea and biscuts.

CHIEF: y? y tho?

  • Arbiter:"Because it fucking sucks outside, have you looked? Do you even grasp the concept of outside?

CHIEF: i grasp ur m0ms titties / [beat] :((((( [super sad face] i cant c a goddam thing

  • Arbiter:"Just feel around.

CHIEF: liek wen im w/ ur mom

  • Arbiter: Shut the hell up and tell me if you find the closet door.

CHIEF: wut is in ther?

  • Arbiter:"A flashlight.

CHIEF: fleshlight?

  • Arbiter:"Flash light. Fucking hell.

Chief's head is heard hitting the door.

CHIEF: ow! / fuck / found it

  • Arbiter:"Okay, help me open it. Pull with me from the left side.

CHIEF:l3ft?

  • Arbiter:"Right.

CHIEF:KK

  • Arbiter:" [beat] Where are you? Oh my god, you'd better not have mistaken that as "pull from the right side". That's such a fucking cliche.

CHIEF:U SED RITE

  • Arbiter:"Yeah, in confirmation! Pull from the left!

CHIEF: omg

The door is heard opening.

  • Arbiter:"Okay there's big box of junk on the floor here. You dig around on the right.

CHIEF: left?

  • Arbiter: I'm gonna punch you out!

CHIEF: LOLOLOL The two are heard rumaging around in the box.

CHIEF: wat does it l00ked liek?

  • Arbiter: What does that matter? It's pitch fucking black. Just feel around for a top-heavy cylindar with a switch on the shaft. And no dick jokes.

CHIEF: aw

  • Arbiter:"Right after this we've got to drag out Jon's laptop and download hack files from that URL before those douches kill it.

The rumaging continues.

CHIEF: um r u sure its in heer?

  • Arbiter:"Positive.

CHIEF: k / [beat] o shit i think i founded it / :D

  • Arbiter: I don't think you'll mind if I don't hold my breath.

Chief clicks on the flashlight, iluminating the area.

CHIEF: c? told u / u c?

  • Arbiter:"Well done.

Chief shines the light in Arbiters face.

  • Arbiter:"Fuck off, you're frying my rettinas! Stop it!

CHIEF: lolololololol / u mad?

  • Arbiter:"Yes I'm mad. Now let's go find Jon's laptop."

CHIEF: i no wer it is

  • Arbiter:"Lead the way.

Arbiter and Chief are seen sitting with Jon's laptop.

CHIEF: WATS TEH POINT OF THIS? if teh elektricities go hoem doesn't teh internets g0 hoem 2?

  • Arbiter:"Jon has one of those "net anywhere" dongles. Should be with the laptop. Fingers crossed, it's still running. [beat] Booted up yet?

CHIEF: not yet

The computer turns on.

CHIEF:"yaaaaaaaay"

  • Arbiter:"Okay now just log into OMN website.

Chief starts typing.

  • Arbiter:"Then sign into Jon's account and grab the link from his in-box. Are you in yet?

CHIEF: hang 0n im just doesing sumthign 1st

  • Arbiter:"What?"
  • Woman[pornography]:"But I poop from there.
  • Man[pornography]:"Not right now you don't.

CHIEF: goddamit i haet it when they sho teh guy"

  • Arbiter:"For fucks sake! Off!

Arbiter cancels the pornography.

CHIEF: nooooooooo

  • Arbiter:"I'll fucking do it myself.

Arbiter starts typing.

  • Arbiter:"Now go to the desk top and get me a flash drive, would you?

CHIEF: flash doesnt has 2 driev he runs sooper fast lol

  • Arbiter:"Christ almighty, I'll get it! I can't fucking depend on you for anything.

CHIEF: chill otu fagg0t it was joaks

Chief goes over to the desk.

CHIEF: wer is them?

  • Arbiter:"Check the USB port near the top.

CHIEF: no ur an SB Arbiter keeps typing.

  • Arbiter:"Thank god the link's still up. Awesome. [beat] Got 'em."

CHIEF: 1337

  • Arbiter:"Holy shit it's dead.

CHIEF: omg

  • Arbiter:"I just refreshed. Nothing. That was way too close."

Chief hands Arbiter a flash drive.

CHIEF: h33r

  • Arbiter:"Thanks.

Arbiter plugs in the flash drive.Arbiter sits against the wall in relief.

  • Arbiter:"Phew.

Chief joins him.

CHIEF: so wat nao?

  • Arbiter:"Now we have to bring the hacks to the TOSERS admins, but we can't do that until the power's back on.

CHIEF: arbitur i has an ideh

  • Arbiter:"Drumroll, please. Chief has an idea, everybody.

CHIEF: does u wanna h3ar mai idea?

  • Arbiter:"Do I have a choice?

CHIEF: nope / LOL / y doesnt u just use teh internets on teh computer 2 sends teh hax?

  • Arbiter:"[beat] Oh yeah!"

Arbiter heads for the laptop.

CHIEF: lmao / retart" Arbiter gets to the computer and its screen goes dark.

  • Arbiter:"Son of a bitch!

CHIEF:wat happin nao?

  • Arbiter:"The battery just died on it. This is so fucking typical.

CHIEF: :(  Arbiter sits back down.

CHIEF: when will teh elektricities cum back?

  • Arbiter:"Not sure."

CHIEF: [beat] this is borign

  • Arbiter:"No shit."

Scene 4:Highlands (TOSERS server)[]

Leonard is seen looking out the window. Claire comes in.

  • Claire:"You're the Basic division admin? You wanted to see me?"
  • Leonard:"Yeah. I just wanted to let you know that you're being promoted to moderator Level one. Making you one of the organization's quickest successes.
  • Claire:"Wow. That's awesome, thank you."
  • Leonard:"I only wish all our moderators were as efficient as you've proven to be."
  • Claire:"I appriciate you saying that."
  • Leonard:"At the pinnacle of basic division, you'll now find that you have virtually no restrictions. Ony that you're not yet working with the cheating and hacking guys. But keep doing exactly what you're doing and, if you're interseted, I see that happening very quickly."
  • Claire:"I'll try to."
  • Leonard:"Well, that's all. You can carry on.
  • Claire:"Okay, thanks.

Claire leaves the room. outside she sees Stephen walking by.

  • Claire:"Oh, hey!"
  • Stephen:"Hey. What's up?"
  • Claire:"My level apparently."
  • Stephen:"What'd I tell ya? Badass. I think you'll have a very interesting future.I hope you're up for a challenge."
  • Claire:"I don't think it'll be too hard. But I will be."

[Stephen and Claire walk their separate ways. Stephen walks to the edge of the map]

  • Stephen:"Might be a good idea to hit the armory first. Seal off access to power weapons then fan out from there. Armory and deployment building is the one with the heli-pad.

[The members of Chaos Theosis are seen in front of him]

  • Stephan:"Still stay on your toes. There are some pretty decent players here. But I think you'll cut through this place like hot butter either way."
  • Duncan:"Thanks for the heads up."
  • Adam:"This is gonna be so beast!"
  • Stephen:"Though I was under the impression that I'd be given half my payment when I gave the distributers the mod list and the other half now. What's the deal?"
  • Clyde:"I apologize for the delay. You'll get what you're owed."
  • Stephen:"Is paypal okay? Or do you need my wire info?
  • Kylie:"Paypal's fine,honey. Just send me your user name or e-mail. We'll take care of it once we've cleaned up here. I don't think you want us wasting any time either."
  • Stephen:"It's about time this "game cop" horseshit was over and done with. Have fun."
  • Adam:"Hell yeah!

[Stephen watches as the hackers walk off to attack the server]

[End credits]

Advertisement