"Ugh, this guy is such a LOSER. He's not even MLG like I am....."
"How's it goin', big guy?"
"You been practicing so you can join my professional MLG team?"
"He never will. Fuckin' Loser."
"Who's your little friend?"
"Hey, Buddy. You, uh, (sniff), MLG like I am?"
"Yeah, you're never short on a few mediocre players in your midst in this game, that's for damn sure."
"Oh, you know. Just, uh, doin' some important MLG stuff. Major League Gaming. Very important. With some other PROFESSIONAL players. And, uh, just hangin' out with my hot girlfriend over here. Have you met Krystal?"
"Oh, uh, y-y-you know that place. I forget the name of the place. It was a big place. Like a big, important place. You know, somewhere in that area. It was pretty big."
"Uh, j-just this, uh, professional team. This MLG team. T-T-They were good, but not as good as ME. Uh, what was their name again? It started with a-.....oh, what'd it start with?"
"Sorry, I've got some important MLG stuff to do. Would you guys mind leaving? Some, uh, (sniff), other big, professional MLG players are gonna be joining in a minute, and I need the space, so......"
"Um, uh, actually, I, um, don't think t-the party detail thing..... the Xbox Live thing is working.... I mean, uh, actually, I....I think the meet up is tommorow actually, yeah, my mistake. I, I don't think they're joining today."
"Oh, uh...um.....pfft! Well, good thing actually, because those professional players actually ARE joining my game today, so, yeah, the meet-up actually IS today, so I was wrong, so yeah! If you guys could just get out, that would be great!"
"Sorry, champ. This room's for PROFESSIONAL players only. But keep practicin', cowboy! Maybe one day. ......As if that'll ever happen.
"Huh, what a couple of fuckin' losers!"
"Did you know, this one time, I ACTUALLY almost drank a WHOLE CAN OF BEER. Yep, almost a WHOLE FUCKIN' CAN."
"Gotta get the Energy Sword first! I gotta hold ALL the power weapons! He better not have it alreay! I want it! I WANT IT!! I'm gonna get it! He better not get it! It's MINE! I need it to WIN! Gotta have the Energy Sword! It better be there! YES!! I'VE GOT IT!! YES! I'VE GOT THE ENERGY SWORD! God, I'm so GOOD!"
"Come on, COME ON........ YES!! FUCK YEAH!! I'M SO AWESOME!"
"YES! Phew. I made it! Now I can just camp here. This game is MINE!"
"Man, I'm so fuckin' GOOD at this game! NO-ONE'S as good as ME! Yeah, it's all about map n' weapon control. Yep........ God, I have such a HARD ON right now. Hmmm..............(fapping sounds) Oh.......oh, YEAH. Oh, I'm so GOOD at this game! AW, YEAH! I'm such a WINNER! AW, YEAH!!"
"OH,YEAH! I'M SO AWESOME!! AW, IT'S NO WONDER I'M MLG!! AW, YEAH!!"
"M-Mom! No,wait! Get out! N-No! Mom! I was just..... fixing my jeans! Dad! N-No I'm not- GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"
"N-No! Mom, I wasn't masturbating! Really! My pants were just, like, ITCHY so......... I swear I wasn't!"
"MOM! DAD! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!"
"(Sobbing) I LOST! I LOST....... TO A NOOB!! I'M MLG!! I CAN'T LOSE!! NO-ONE'S GONNA THINK I'M COOL ANYMORE!!! (Sobbing)"