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Scene 1: Picking armor Edit

[track 12 from the season 7 soundtrack is heard]

  • Chief: shit -- u didnt formatted that drive, did u?
  • Arbiter: Your porn is safe.
  • Chief: thank gawd / i gots sum r33l hardcore shit on they're, bro / liek u w00dnt fucking beleive

Arbiter is undecided between white and steel armor.

  • Chief: hurry yp and pick one, ass butt

Scene 2: The Wait Edit

Eugene is standing on a burning building; sees Arbiter and Chief approach slowly in front of him.

EUGENE: We've started a few fires on the message boards, but myself, Colin and Tyler have yet to be linked to the bans that we've dished. Colin's just given us the go ahead.

  • Chief: ABOUT FUCKING TIEM / who the hell makes something as ossim possim as frag bans and then all of a suddenly decides not 2 used them / if u axe me, it seemed like hes a few sandwiches short of a full deck
  • Arbiter: Because why play a car games with cards when you've got a perfectly good loaf in the freezer? Not to mention that people are obviously lines up around every block in the world to ask for your opinions.
  • Chief: dat sum of those sarcasms of urs, arbitur? / bitches doesnt knew about my onions / their delishiss

EUGENE: He's cautious. Try not to say or do anything that piss him off. Despite his acceptance of you when you met him, I've since had to talk him out of a plan to take you by surprise and ban you anyway.

  • Chief: THAT MOTHERFUCKER / >:O [angry surprised face]

EUGENE: He's cool now. I think. Black armor now, huh? Kinda lame but whatever.

  • Chief: NO U
  • Arbiter: Seemed appropriate enough. [beat] What are we waiting for?

EUGENE: Good question.

  • Chief: :DDDDDDDDDD { super happy face }

Montage Edit

["Feel It" is heard]

[Arbiter, Chief, Tyler and Colin are seen walking around Highlands. Eugene watches from on top of a building]

[Cut to the toys sitting in the apartment window smoking]

[ One of the rowdy players Arbiter encountered earlier is seen harassing a player in forge world. Eugene watches nearby.]

ROWDY PLAYER 1:" You'd better watch your tone when you talk to me, bitch. I might reconfigure your hard drive so that it explodes and fires shrapnel up your dick hole You don't mess with me."

Arbiter is seen on a cliff in the distance.

ROWDY PLAYER 1:" You don't fuck with me, understand? I'm like a runaway train, dude! [a rocket is seen heading towards him] You don't stand in place  like a dipshit when you see me comin'! Not unless you want me to lay the smack down! I'll mess you up-"

[The rocket kills the player]

Arbiter and Chief are seen in the bathtub.

Chief opens a liquor bottle and fills a shot glass, spilling some of it.

Arbiter:"You trying to fill the glass or the tub?

  • Chief: shut ^[up] adn drink ^ bitch

Chief slides the glass to Arbiter and fills one for himself. They drink. Chief keeps refilling the glasses and they continue to drink. The screen then cuts to Chief fainting with a glass on his head.

The purist clan is seen on Boardwalk. Emma is seen talking to another player.

  • Emma: Our clan's goal is to set a shining example of the respective play that the network sorely needs. What were you thinking? I take no pleasure in having someone removed from our clan,but I have no choice when they fail to follow our two simple rules: [Chief is seen coming out of the tunnels with a detatched turret] No hardware or software modifications and no explicit language.

Chief approaches a group of players.

  • Chief: o hai / u [bleep]s redy 2 die?

Cut to Chief crushing cereal with Jon's shoe.

Arbiter:"Must you bang so hard?

Chief: tahts wut ur m0m sed / lollolololollolollololol

Another rowdy player Arbiter also encountered earlier is seen holding a player a gunpoint on Anchor 9.

ROWDY PLAYER 3:"You retaded mother fucker. I saw you coming a mile away. Did you really think you could get the drop on me? You'd have to get up so early that you'd likely be killed by dinosaurs before you got a chance."

Arbiter uncloaks behind the player and assassinates him.


Arbiter shoots the corpse, frags the other player and shoots his body.

Chief is seen lightin a roll of crushed cereal as Arbiter prepares to smoke it.

Arbiter:"I'm ashamed. This is beyond stupid.

  • Chief: u sed taht liek its a bad things

Cut to Chief spraying the purists with the turret, killing them one by one.

  • Chief: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL / c u all in hell muther fuckerz

The player with Emma runs away. Emma sees the massacre.

  • Emma: What the fuck?

A player runs over.

XBL PLAYER:"Emma! Everyone that's been fragged so far has been disconnected! Don't let this player-

Chief kills him.

  • Chief: o ha sexay grill friend

Emma runs to the tunnels and gets on a Mongoose. She sees Chief in front of her with a Spartan laser.

  • Chief: u got meh all fired ^ ounce up0n a tiems ago / im h33r 2 return teh favors / imma chargin mah lazer / shoop da woop

[Chief lasers Emma and procedes to teabag her corpse.

Chief: lollolololollolololololol

[cut to Arbiter hiding on a cliff with a grenade launcher on Breakpoint.]

Two players get in a Warthog. The last rowdy player kills the driver and gets in the seat.

XBL PLAYER:"Uh, that dude was on our team.

ROWDY PLAYER 2:"I felt like driving! [they drive off] Anyone who gets in my way is deserving of punishment! Everyone get whats comin' to them. No exceptions!

[The dive past Eugene across the bridge. They drive over Arbiters cooking grenade and get EMPed, crasshing into a rock.]


[Arbiter walks over firing a shotgun. The rowdy player runs to the edge of an abyss. The warthog explodes and kills the other player. Arbiter walks to the rowdy player.

Arbiter:"No exceptions.

ROWDY PLAYER 2:"I remember you! What's this little display about? Pathetic attempt at saving face?

Arbiter:"Removing yours.

[Arbiter shotguns the player in the face and his body falls into the chasm.]

[background music fades out]

EUGENE: What's the word? How do you feel?

[closeup on Arbiter; beat]

  • Arbiter: Good.

[silent credits]