Dukes of Dongs
Season Hypermail, Episode 9
Dukes of Dongs
Air date October 8, 2011
Written by Jon Graham
Directed by Jon Graham
Episode guide
Voices of Raisins
A Vereh Scareh H4110w33n
Dukes of Dongs is the ninth episode of Hypermail: Season 1.


Master Chief and the Arbiter answer another batch of viewer mail.


This time, Arbiter and Chief are on the kitchen counter again. Arbiter tells everyone that he hopes that they have all calmed down after the video uploaded the previous week. After that, Arbiter notices the Master Chief's :D foundation seen last episode. Chief tries to get people to donate to him. Arbiter says that he is going to start his own fund, Master Chief :( foundation, where if he gets donated to then he'll beat Chief up. He was only joking, of course.

Then they start the Hypermail.

From Ryan:

"Hi, I drew this for you Chief.

Ryan's pic dukes of dongs

Ryan's picture that he made for Chief.

Ryan" - After reading the mail, Chief notices that there is a pic attached. He opens it. After seeing the picture, Chief gets very mad at Ryan.

From Tom:

"what happened to chief's brain?

-Tom" - Arbiter questions Chief ever having a brain, while Chief tells Tom that his dick is bigger than Tom's.

From The Canadian Hospital for Incurable Retards:

"Dear Master Chief,

The results for your latest health screening have come out. We regret to inform you that you have contracted dick cancer as a result of excessive sexual activity.

We will call you at a later date to arrange for a date that we can come to your house to castrate you to stabilize your condition. In the meantime, please refrain from all sexual activity to prevent your condition from deteriorating further.

This condition is untreatable and we expect that you will only survive for 6 months. You have our condolences.

Yours sincerely,

The Canadian Hospital for Incurable Retards" - At first, Chief thinks that it is actually for Arbiter, however, when Arbiter tells him it isn't, he becomes shocked and very saddened that he has dick cancer. Arbiter tries to comfort him.

Chief tells everyone that he needs their money more than ever, now that he has found out that he has dick cancer. Then the episode ends.



  • The title of the episode comes from a line said by Arbiter, calling Chief the duke of dongs.

Watch the EpisodeEdit

Hypermail "Dukes of Dongs"

Hypermail "Dukes of Dongs"