This is the transcript for Season 2 Bytes episode, Horsin' Around.

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Scene 1: Jon's ApartmentEdit

[As the opening title appears, Arbiter is seen approaching the door to Jon's bathroom. He knocks on the door. Evident by the dialogue, Master Chief is inside the bathroom]

  • Arbiter: Chief? You're not seriously still in the bathroom, are you?

CHIEF: no.

  • Arbiter: Oh, 'kay, you're spent all but the entirety of the past four days in there -- care to tell me what it is that you're doing, exactly?

CHIEF: ur mom

  • Arbiter: Never gets old.

CHIEF: yes she does / its like fucking a leather pocket at this points lloloollolol / how about u t00k a wild fucking stab in the dark as 2 what im doing

  • Arbiter: Why the sudden need for the bathroom solely? As far as I'm aware, nothing has stopped you from wanking yourself dry all about the apartment, as per usual. I can almost see my reflection in the carpet. Give it a couple more months and we could play some "ice" hockey.

CHIEF: what the fuck do u want

  • Arbiter: I'm about to throw some cartoons up onto the television and was wondering whether or not you'd like to join me, that's all. Chief?

CHIEF: hell to the no bitch, is that srsly a srs quest chin? / LOL / what r u watching, my little pony or some shit? / not sure if u has noticed arbitur, butt I AM A MAN

  • Arbiter: Believe me, I've noticed.

CHIEF: r33l mans dusnt watched cart00ns arbitur, their not realistic

  • Arbiter: Jon recently bought all the seasons of ReBoot on DVD -- I'm indifferent to My Little Pony. I have nothing against the show and I respect the amount of work that goes into it, but I just don't find myself drawn to the story and don't quite understand the phenomenon surrounding it.

[Arbiter leans back against the door to think]

  • Arbiter: I can't help but get the feeling that the spike in male interest in a show geared towards young girls is due to some attraction to being ironic rather than the show itself -- but that's just me.

CHIEF: my little penis, rebutt, whatever -- cart00ns r 4 babbys and the mentaly handicrapped / and mentaly handicrapped babbys / lololollolol

  • Arbiter: Sounds as though they'd be right up your alley, then.

CHIEF: get fucked / i was rite up ur moms alley last nite / bugger off already w00d u plax, im bizzy / go and enjoy ur shitty cart00ns faget

[Arbiter gets up and proceeds to walk away]

  • Arbiter: Suit yourself.

Scene 2: Jon's Apartment and BathroomEdit

[It is now nighttime at Jon's apartment, however Arbiter is seen getting up as Chief is seen asleep in Jon's bed]

CHIEF: ZZZZZZZZZZ / ZZZZZZZZZZ / ZZZZZZZZZZ / ZZZZZZZZZZ / ZZZZZZZZZZ / ZZZZZZZZZZ [With the coast clear, Arbiter gets off the pen and is seen heading towards the bathroom, holding a pen and flashlight in his arms while some of Greg's webbing is wrapped around his shoulder. As he approaches the door, there is a sign that states "NO ALIENS ALLOWED!!!"]

  • Arbiter: Rest easy, Chief. No "ay-lins" around here.

[Using Greg's webbing as a lasso, Arbiter ropes onto the door knob to the bathroom and proceeds to scale up the door while holding onto the pen. Upon reaching the door knob, Arbiter uses the pen like a key pick and manages to unlock the door to the bathroom. With the door open, Arbiter switches on the flashlight and looks around to see Jon's laptop, opened up and turned on (evident by the light it gives off against the toilet.) Arbiter approaches the laptop to see what's on it]

  • Arbiter: Haha. Oh my God. You've got to be kidding me.

Instead of porn, the laptop instead has a YouTube link opened up of the first episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

  • Arbiter: What a fucking hypocrite.

Arbiter then moves his flashlight up to the walls.

  • Arbiter: What the hell ... ?

The flashlight reveals that Chief has posted several printed out pictures of the cast of main characters that appear in My Little Pony.

  • Arbiter: This has to be the creepiest shit I've ever seen.

Arbiter then moves his flashlight over to the toilet to reveal a makeshift doll made out of tissues, and duct tape, lined with ham slices, and filled with Vaseline to resemble a vagina. A cutout picture of the head of the character, Fluttershy, is seen where its head would be.

  • Arbiter: Ugh! For fuck's sake! Spoke too soon.

[As Arbiter continues to look all over the bathroom at what Chief has been doing, Chief is seen wielding a knife and standing in the doorway. As he speaks, his voices makes Arbiter jump and turn to face him]

CHIEF: o y helo thar arbitur / congradulashens / UR WINNER / now u knew my terribel secrets.

  • Arbiter: It isn't terrible to be a "brony" Chief, not at all -- but in regard to this abomination? And what's the deal with all of the pictures? What are you, a fucking serial killer? What's the matter with you?

CHIEF: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [Chief then lunges at Arbiter, knocking them over as well as knocking both the flashlight and Arbiter's helmet off of him. Chief is now seen pinning Arbiter against a cupboard]

CHIEF: u knew wat im gona has 2 does now, dusnt u?

Scene 3: Jon's DeskEdit

[Arbiter and Chief are now seen sitting at Jon's desk watching an episode of My Little Pony as the TV show's theme song is heard playing]

  • Arbiter: I'll admit, I haven't given this show a very fair chance. It ain't half bad.


[End credits roll]