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This is the transcript for the Season 4 episode, It's a Beta.

← "Out of Reach" "It's a Beta" "Pirates" →


Scene 1: Jon's Couch (night)Edit

Master Chief is using the new feature of the Reach beta; armor lock. He continuosly spams it on players who seem to be quite annoyed with Chief as he keeps making himself invulnerable to their attacks.

  • Chief: armer lock armer lock armer lock armer lock armer lock armer lock armer lock
  • Halo Reach Beta Player: My god, this is like the millionth time.
  • Chief: then i gess a milions ppl is smrater than u / this is stratigy
  • Halo Reach Beta Player: That is not strategy!

Arbiter is writing online about how he is going to play the beta and report any feedback or tips to Bungie.

  • Chief: y is ther only 2 maps, thats retarted

Arbiter then walks to the couch and turns to Chief.

  • Arbiter: It's a beta. And it's about time I had a turn.
  • Chief: no
  • Arbiter: Come on, let me try.
  • Chief: NO

Arbiter tries to pull Chief away from his controller, but he can't let go.

  • Chief: NOOO / NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • Arbiter: Let me have a turn, asshole!

Arbiter still tries to pull Chief off his controller.

  • Chief: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • Arbiter: You're unbelievable.

Arbiter stops pulling him, then tickles him to get Chief to let go of his controller.

  • Chief: LOL NO DONT FUCKING TICKLE ME NO PLEASE OMG I HAET U

Chief gets dragged by Arbiter off of his controller. Then Arbiter iss about to play the Halo Reach Beta, but unfortunately, the controls are different in Halo Reach.

  • Arbiter: Huh, the controls are different. Gimme the basics here.

Master Chief points at the LB button on the controller.

  • Chief: this is ur primary / it is also teh first thign u shud use / just makes sure u have armer lok equiped at all tiems / this is critical arbitur

Chief points at the LT button on the controller.

  • Chief: this is ur secundary / gernades r very effektiv close range / i hasnt maniged 2 use them w/out killign myselfs / but i herd ther was a wae 2 do it

Master Chief then points at the RT button on the controller.

  • Chief: this is ur GUNS / ur guns shud b ur last resorts cuz aimings pretty hard / as long as u armerlok spam u shud b fien tho.
  • Arbiter: I see. Ah, it's nice to jump back into some slayer with the ol' Halo community again.
  • Call of Duty Fanboy #1: Call of Duty is seriously so much better than this, but I'll play one more game.
  • Call of Duty Fanboy #2: Halo is for fags! Only fags play Halo! You guys are all fags!
  • Call of Duty Fanboy #1: Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, penis!

After barely a minute, Chief then tries to regain the controller and continue playing the beta.

  • Chief: awesim gaem rite?? K MAI TURN NAO
  • Arbiter: Hey, you said you were a true fan, right? Well, why don't you provide Bungie with info on any issues you've found?
  • Chief: FIEN i will

Master Chief walks to the computer, and then writes to Bungie about how they should fix the "Battle Rifle" (it's really the DMR), and make armor lock last longer.

  • Chief: mehbeh bungie will give me sumthing kewl for giving them such fucking killer feedback

Chief grabs the wires from the controller Arbiter's using.

  • Chief: MY TURN

Master Chief then steals back the controller, and continues playing the beta.

  • Arbiter: Fine. But I get to play again soon.
  • Chief: HOW CUM U CANT B THE ALIENS / U CAN ONLY BE HALO NOW / THIS IS CRAP
  • Arbiter: It's a BETA.

Arbiter walks to the computer.

  • Arbiter: Did you post your stuff already? I didn't think you had a forum account.
  • Chief: I DONT / I USED URS LOL
  • Arbiter: What?! What the hell, Chief?! Everyone's gonna think I'm a fucking idiot!
  • Chief: WAT U TALKIGN ABOT. my feedback was awesome / MAN ther r just 2 many problim w/ this gaem!1 it is compleetly unacseptible 4 a finishd product / WAT WER BUNGIE THINK. I AM DISAPPOINT
  • Arbiter: IT'S A BETA!

Credits roll. The end.