← "Day One Cookies" "Memeland" "Doggy Style" →

Scene 1: Jon's Bedroom, MorningEdit

Arbiter wakes up in the morning, then walks out to another room.

Scene 1: Jon's Living RoomEdit

Arbiter walked up in the living room and found meme-related faces plastered on the wall and on several cups with price tags.

  • Arbiter: That reminds me, I really ought to kill myself.

Arbiter then walks around searching for Chief.

  • Arbiter: Chief? I'm assuming you're up and about. Where are you? I'd like to chat with you briefly regarding your new business venture.

Arbiter then finds Chief, wearing a Trollface mask.

  • Arbiter: Christ almighty. Take that off.
  • Chief: problem?
  • Arbiter: What's the deal with all of this shit? Who are your customers, exactly?

Arbiter is seen holding the "Are you fucking kidding me clean" face mask and the Bilious mask.

  • Arbiter: You can be sure as shit I won't be one of them - and if you're gonna slap outrageous prices, you could at least be original. Twenty-nine ninety-five has to be the most cliche price figure in existence.
  • Chief: y r u on mai ass about it, thats wat ur mom charges / lolololololololololol
  • Arbiter: Not only is this junk painfully unfunny but none of these drawings and phrases are your own content.
  • Chief: shut up cyclical asshoel autist hipster batwing muncher --
  • Arbiter: "Cynical".
  • Chief: cinnamon / of course teh memes is funny / dont b such a ch33p ass, pay up and impress all ur pals and famillies / theyl LOL out loud / DOES IT NAO OR ELSE
  • Arbiter: Wait -- what did you call them?
  • Chief: memes / thats hao u sez it dumbass
  • Arbiter: Yeah, okay.
  • Chief: it is
  • Arbiter: Well, being the master wordsmith that you are, you'd certainly be the go-to guy for advice on proper pronuciation.
  • Chief: fuck yeah mother fucker
  • Arbiter: And -- returning to our previous topic -- no, these memes aren't funny, in fact. Not on their own. The illustrations are amusing, certainly, but they're contexual -- it's the joke or situation depicting then that makes them funny. Or, to be more accurate, the other way around.
  • Chief: WTF did u even talking about? ROFL i dont evin has a clues wtf ur even just sed 2 me dude -- just saying dude / i think that u culd picking ur werds a littel bits beter.
  • Arbiter: Anyone who buys this crap is just walking around advertising a punch line with no set-up and therefore no joke.
  • Chief: ppls buys stuff with retartid catch fraises and stupid shit all the times, stop being so butthurt
  • Arbiter: Yeah, but everybody's on the web nowadays, and it's so oversaturated with these in particular that the best response you can hope for from most people who run into them in real life is a loud groan. Especially if a profit's trying to be turned.
  • Chief: YEH AND "MOAST PPLS" EQUALS YOU RIGHT? liek you fucking know shit about anything u loser alcoholic / cause u have so many fucking freinds right? right arbitur? R U STILL THEY'RE ARBITUR? I CAN BEARLY SEES YOU PAST ALL OF UR FREINDS CAUSE U HAVE SO MANY FUCKING FREINDS
  • Arbiter: What the fuck do you need money for, anyway? Points? Pizza? Whatever got-wrenching hardcore fetish porn it is you're into this week?
  • Chief: um, halo fours, fives and sex / OBLIVIOUSLY / retart

Arbiter then walks away, and Master Chief then takes his mask off, following Arbiter.

  • Arbiter: Fuck this, I'm going to bed.
  • Chief: tell ur mom 2 assumed teh posishin, ill be their in a minits.

Then Master Chief checks his meme masks and discovered that Arbiter wrote "CANCER" on all meme faces before Chief tooks his Trollface mask off.

  • Chief: GODDAMMIT

End credits.