← "The True Fan" "One Love"  


Chief is seen at a makeshift table wearing his fancy suit,with candles lit and classical music playing (Pretty Woman theme from La Traviata) as if he is on a date.

  • Chief: aaaaaaahhh / doesnt u thinks that this is romantik? [beat] hay i axed u a quest chin / answer meh bitch / yeh U bet that sw33t ass of urs that imma rek so hard tonite ;)[winky face] / hay does u knew sumthing cool, no? / u wanna knows wut it was? Imma tells u wut it is k / u listening babe? we haz been seeing each other's foar liek lots of years nao / a whoel tons of them / and ive nevar been moar into u than i am rite nao / u know wut that is? thats a mattress of fax

Chief's "date" is revealed to be Jon's copy of Halo: Reach. Chief gets and pours some liquor into he and the game's glasses.

  • Chief: :0 [surprised face] / oh noes / I c u is dangeresly low on ur alcohols / haz sum moar k / i insisted /  yum yum yum / :)[smiley face] / [beat] goddamn jon sure as hell listens 2 his shaers of fucking retarted music / classical music is foar pu$$y ass bitches / hows about we scores up our deliteful evening with sum tracks that sux a little less ball sacks? fuck meh

Chief picks up jon's cell phone and examines the music selection.

  • Chief: lol / k lets c wut we gots heer / let's c / hhmmmm

He changes the music. Feel It starts playing.

  • Chief: ther nao isn't that way maor lots moar bettar? jon's entire collektion is practikally nothing but fucking rush / wut an asshole / rock is foar queers / wer teh hell is all teh wub wubs / jesus christ wut teh hell is his problems / OMG, :D [happy face] / YES, PERFECT

Activate starts playing.

  • Chief: nao this is wut im fucking talking about / this is mai shit rite heer / teh wub wubs got teh beets but thers no beets that beet teh beets of dj chief

Chief tears of his clothes and starts dancing.

  • Chief: Spin meh round baby spin meh round liek a record babay round round round / so can we fucked nao plzkthx

Chief is seen on Jon's bed humping the game.

  • Chief: oh yah / take it / take it all bitch / oh yah, who's teh chief? who teh fuck is it huh? im teh chief / teh mastur cheef / u want meh to spank that baddonkadonk? u liek it? yah u love it and u knew it

Chief turns and sees Arbiter staring in disbelief, holding a plastic bag with a game in it.

  • Chief: oh hey arbitur / wut is up?
  • Arbiter: Very occasionally, and for unknown reasons, I manage to have pleasant days... that is until, shortly, I realize that I'm friends with you.Then my world crumbles around me, like a big rancid biscuit. 
  • Chief: lol arbitur y dont u maek liek teh ice climbers and taek a fucking hike / ur cock blocking teh shit out of me dude
  • Arbiter: I'm in possession of something Jon bought today, something I think you'll find very interesting.
  • Chief: u r liek a fly with a booger in it's eye arbitur / ther r absolutly nothing moar bettar thar r33ch / and we is gon be together foar ever and evar and evar and ther isn't one singul things that can change that

Chief is then seen dragging Reach into the bathroom. He opens the game, snaps the disk in half and flushes it down the toilet.

  • Chief: bye bye / ther is can only be one / k? k.

Chief is seen a his shrine with Halo 4 in the place of Reach.

  • Chief: omg / omg omg omg / mai god is an ossim god / we r not worthy / this is teh greatest gift mankinds cud be givin
  • Arbiter: You know there's nothing stopping us from paying tribute to the game by - you know - playing it.
  • Chief: shut ur whore mouth before i put mai dick in it / does u haz any idea how tight its graffix r?we must pay proper tributes

Chief starts humping the game.

  • Chief: oh yah / <3 / u and meh / reech and i wer just an influction / we gon be to gethar forevar and evar
  • Arbiter: Christ almighty...
  • Chief: Bunjee studios u crazy ass sons of bitches you've done it agen

Credits roll. The end.

Track 14 from the the third release starts playing.