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This is the transcript for the Season 4 episode, Out of Reach.

Scene 1: Jon's House (night)Edit

It is the 2nd of May, 2010, just before the release of the Halo: Reach Multiplayer beta and it is 8:35 in the evening. Master Chief is impatiently awaiting the release of the beta while Arbiter, also excited, is using Jon's laptop.

  • Chief: GO FASTAR

A couple of seconds pass, but Chief still grows impatient.

  • Chief: GOOOOOOOOO
  • Arbiter: You're just gonna have to be patient like everybody else.
  • Chief: im mastar cheef / im not liek evrybody else
  • Arbiter: I know.
  • Chief: I SAEVD evrybody else from fucking extinction / i shud has the FULL GAEM alredy!!1
  • Arbiter: You should have the Legendary Edition!
  • Chief: YES. / how cum u is not excite.
  • Arbiter: Just because I'm not climbing the walls, doesn't mean I'm not excited. I think Reach looks really fun.
  • Chief: thats crap / U IS JUST NOT A TRU FAN
  • Arbiter: Okay, Chief.

[beat]

  • Chief: arbitur, how does i maek times go fastar?/
  • Arbiter: Play a game? Masturbate?
  • Chief: sumthing i HASNT tried
  • Arbiter: ...Sleep?
  • Chief: OUT OF TEH QUESTIUN.

[beat]

  • Arbiter: A silly suggestion?
  • Chief: left a bad impression
  • Arbiter: Just mental congestion.
  • Chief: :( [Sad facial expression] / HAY / check ur mails / maybee u gots ur code
  • Arbiter: No. Besides, it would be quicker to get it through ODST.

Chief looks towards Jon's copy of Halo 3: ODST, and picks it up.

  • Chief: WAT IS ODST
  • Arbiter: Orbital Drop Shock Trooper.
  • Chief: LOL / NERD
  • Arbiter: I thought YOU were supposed to be the "true fan" here.

Chief opens the case. He takes the disc out.

  • Chief: so @ 2 in teh mornings we put this in adn we can plae reech??
  • Arbiter: Assuming all things go according to plan. But these things never do. You can go ahead and try. I'll play it later tomorrow after the shit storm is over.
  • Chief: WUT
  • Arbiter: Hundreds of thousands of kids are gonna log on all at once at two in the morning to play Reach. Then they're all gonna freak out when the servers crash and complain that they're not getting something free from Bungie right when they want it. I'd rather not be awake for the mess.
  • Chief: fucking CDs / how do THEY work??!1
  • Arbiter: Har har har. Memes.
  • Chief: SRS THO
  • Arbiter: Well, they're partly made up of a plastic layer with a spiral track of microscopic bumps that are read and decoded by the laser of a disc drive.
  • Chief: can u maek ur own bumps?
  • Arbiter: I'd imagine that's how disc burning works.

Arbiter turns off and closes the laptop.

  • Arbiter: Bedtime. You know what to do, right? When the time comes, just sign in and hit "extras" or whatever on the ODST menu.
  • Chief: THIS SUCKS ASS / what the hell am i suposed 2 do 4 5 houers
  • Arbiter: Bitch on GameFAQS.

Arbiter goes to bed, Chief stares at the disc for a moment. He then grabs some scissors and goes back to the disc.

  • Chief: maeby i dusn't has 2 wait.....if i does a littel "disc burning"

[Beat]

  • Chief: LOL IM GONA MUTILATE THE SHIT OUTTA THIS THING

Scene 2: Jon's House (morning)Edit

In the morning, Arbiter turns on the Xbox 360 to play some Halo: Reach.

  • Arbiter: Ah, time for some Reach.

The Xbox 360 fails to read the Halo 3: ODST disc, which is already in the disc drive.

  • Arbiter: ...Weird.

Arbiter opens and closes the disc drive and the console attempts to read it again. It fails.

  • Arbiter: Oh man. You gotta be kidding me.

Arbiter opens the disc drive, takes the disc out and looks at the back of it, which is covered in scratches. That's why the disc drive can't read it as it is too scratched to be read. Master Chief spies on Arbiter from behind the wall.

  • Arbiter: ...What the FUCK? CHIEF! Get your retarded ass out here right now!

Knowing he's caught, Master Chief comes out from behind the wall.

  • Arbiter: You did this, didn't you?
  • Master Chief: U AUTOMATIKALY ASSUEM IT WAS MEH?!/1 / come on arbitur. / isnt that REACHing a little?!?!?/1?/1/1? / ROFL
  • Arbiter: I'm gonna shove this disc up your ass and twist it.

Arbiter chases after Chief, who is running away.

Credits roll. The end.