|← "Event Horizon"||"The Big Bang"||"Game Over" →|
Scene 1: Breakneck Edit
[continuing where "Event Horizon" left off; Eugene and the toys stand confronting each other.]
- Eugene: There's cheaper ways to embarrass yourselves, shelling out another two hundred bucks only to have your asses handed to you yet again suggests a crippling mental handicap.
- Arbiter: So does a bullet in the brain -- which you won't be leaving without.
- Chief: i doesnt saw n e crippled metal handy cats around h33r, does u? / u wanna point them out 2 me, plax?
- Eugene: You're outnumbered and the two of you would stand little chance against a single one of us. I'm curious as to what makes you so confident. Whatever it is, can I hit it?
- Arbiter: The fact of the matter is that you can't be allowed to continue what you're doing, and we're the only ones who can put an immediate stop to it. So here we are.
- Eugene: By doing what? Drowning us in hypocrisy? You seem to have entirely forgotten the six weeks you spent participating in the activity you suddenly find so deplorable. You think that you'll find redemption in stopping us? It doesn't work that way!
- Chief: um, excused me butt i think ull found that its 'hippopotacrisy'.
- Eugene: Upon further analysis I think you'll find you're a complete and utter moron.
- Arbiter: All that matters is that we end this.
- Eugene: Kind of like how you ended my relationship with Michelle?
- Arbiter: That was your doing. All I did was help her make an informed decision.
- Eugene: It wasn't your place!
- Arbiter: You're right. It was yours. Somebody had to.
- Eugene: Hopefully, you tools will get a clue after this encounter. No matter how much money you spend getting in our way, every single time you'll be unapologetically fucked!!
- Colin: I do hope the three of us realize that we're speaking to holograms here.
- Eugene: No shit!!
Eugene raises his pistol and shoots the holograms, the holograms of Chief and Arbiter disappear.
- Eugene: Way to be original. Just because you were inept enough to fall for that trick, you assume the same of us?! You pussies care to show yourselves so we can get this shit over with?!
A Falcon flys into the view of the shot.
- Chief: MAI ROFLCOPTER GOES SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI / LOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOL
Chief pilots the Falcon while Arbiter is on a turret.
Arbiter fires the turret. Tyler drops his handheld turrent and runs backwards.
- Tyler: Son of a bitch!
Tyler fires a rocket, the rocket misses the Falcon.
- Chief: NOPE DOT EXE
Colin fires his Sniper Rifle.
- Arbiter: Shit -- Chief, you're going to have to be a little more evasive.
Eugene fires his fuel rod gun at the Falcon.
- Chief: yth r u focusing ur fires on 1 fucking guy? / theirs 3 of those / hows about u learned 2 fucking count?
Eugene successfully hits the Falcon.
- Arbiter: Goddammit!
- Chief: :( / oh noes
Chief lands the Falcon on a road.
Eugene goes to the empty Falcon and destroys it.
Colin and Tyler folllow behind Eugene, Eugene turns around.
- Eugene: Tyler, you head one way and I'll head in the other, we'll flank these motherfuckers. Colin, you find a vantage point.
- Colin: No shit, thanks.
Colin walks away.
- Eugene: Don't fucking miss.
- Colin: Remember who you're talking to, consider them out of comission.
Tyler runs and reloads his Rocket Launcher. He then spots an unoccupied tank.
- Tyler: For me? Well tank you very much.
Arbiter runs to a building.
- Arbiter: Our element of surprise went up in flames with that Falcon. You had one fucking job.
- Chief: so did u / couldnt even fragged a single ones, u fucking n00b / watched me, ima banned every single all of them myself
Chief walks forward. Tyler's tank appears and goes after the duo.
- Tyler: Don't blow things out of proportion asswipes, that's my job.
Chief runs back.
- Chief: uh oh, spaghettiohs
Tyler fires the tank's cannon but he misses the duo, Arbiter and Chief flee inside of the building.
- Arbiter: Let's switch to private chat. We don't want them hearing any more of our coordination.
The duo switches to private chat.
- Arbiter: You draw Tyler's attention while I head around him. Think you can handle that?
- Chief: wth r u gonna does?
- Arbiter: The three of them have blown enough smoke up our asses. Time to return the favor.
Chief and Arbiter look at a pack of frag grenades.
Tyler's tank wanders the area.
Chief runs to the tank and repeatedly jumps on the spot to get Tyler's attention.
Tyler notices and opens fire on Chief. He misses as Chief runs up the damaged highway.
Arbiter runs up to Tyler's tank. In the background, Charlie barks at Tyler.
- Tyler: Charlie, that's it! I'm not going to tell you again! Shut your fucking mouth.
Tyler hits the dog. As a result, Charlie attacks him.
- Tyler: AGH!!! MOTHERFUCKER! GET OFF ME!!! GET THE FUCK OFF ME GODDAMMIT!! CHARLIE!? AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! [his mic falls silent]
Arbiter boards Tyler's tank and opens the hatch.
Chief boards it and destroys the tank, fragging Tyler.
Arbiter and Chief look down at Tyler's corpse and the destroyed tank.
Arbiter looks at Chief. He also looks back at Arbiter.
- Chief: wtf arbiter / c00l guys doesnt l00ked @ explosions, remember?
- Arbiter: When were we ever cool?
A sniper bullet hits Arbiter. Some of his shield drains
- Arbiter: Shit!
Arbiter runs. Another sniper bullet hits Arbiter. His shield fully drains.
- Arbiter: Behind the tank!
Chief and Arbiter take cover behind Tyler's wrecked tank.
- Colin: Eugene? Center clearing, they're taking cover behind the tank. The distance between us evading your plasma bolts is virtually effortless. Eugene's headed your way. Emerge from your cover and I'll put you down with three shots maxinum from the four in my magazine. You're done.
Colin turns around and lowers his sniper rifle.
- Colin: Ooooh, shit...
Glass breaking in the background is heard.
- SWAT Unit: POLICE!!! DON'T MOVE!!! DON'T FUCKING MOVE!!! DOWN ON THE FLOOR NOW!!! ON YOUR STOMACH!!! DO IT!!! HANDS BEHIND YOUR WAIST!!!
While Colin is distracted, Arbiter and Chief approach Colin who is being arrested by the authorities.
- FBI Agent: Colin Hunt, you've been charged with online solicitation of sex from a minor, you have the right to remain silent when questioned. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney--
Arbiter charges his plasma pistol and fires at Colin draining his shields.
Arbiter equips his DMR and shoots Colin in the head, fragging him; Colin falls silent.
- Arbiter: Two down, one to go.
Arbiter walks away from Colin's corpse after looking down on it
Eugene walks up the stairs in a building. He looks down and then up.
Arbiter and Chief search for Eugene, but with no luck.
Chief runs up to the Arbiter as the Arbiter does the same with Chief
- Chief: where the fuck did he went?
- Arbiter: Son of a bitch!
Scene 2: Ridgeline Edit
[a shot of some trees on a mountain in the background; then of the waterfall and a river; then of a pack of flowers; then of the woods]
Eugene is standing on the grass next to a rock and the waterfall
Master Chief approaches Eugene pointing his plasma pistol at him.
- Chief: FREEZE / CHILL / STAY COOL / ICE 2 M33T U / TIMES 2 KICK SUM ICE / TONIGHTS FORECAST? / A FREEZE IS CUMMING
Arbiter uncloaks beside Eugene aiming his pistol at the side of Eugene's head.
- Arbiter: I'd ask why you invited us and why you're idle if I cared. You got anything to say?
- Eugene: So long.
A gunshot is heard in the background shocking the toys.
Arbiter walks away from Eugene's idle avatar.
[Arbiter lowers his pistol. Chief does the same.
Another player not equipped with fragban kills Eugene's avatar. The young player then melees and teabags Eugene's corpse.
- Young Player: Oh my god. Double kill! Double kill! I fucking rule! Who's the king bitches!? Who's the fucking king, huh?! That's right, I am! Suck my fucking cock!
The young player stops playing with the corpse and looks at Chief and Arbiter.
- Young Player: Speaking of cocks, get your hands off of them and participate! We're one kill from winning!
The young player runs away.
The Arbiter and Master Chief continue to stare at Eugene's corpse.
Arbiter and Chief look at each other briefly, then go back to staring at Eugene's corpse.
Credits roll. The end.